One thing that is common for all recent emotional developments– I wanna a quick-fix.
Most of our present culture in a way encourages instant satisfaction through whichever means possible. This is a disturbing trend. There are no shortcuts, no free-lunches. But we have conveniently forgotten this under the mask of various clichés.
A case in point is the way most of the self-help books(i.e. motivational, personality growth based) are written. Almost all of which I’ve seen in recent times are based on personality ethic- superficial changes in external personality.
The rise of this concept can be seen with the success of Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. The book was a huge success & this captivated the imagination of many other writers who wished to earn quick buck by writing some out-of-context quotes to derive most funny conclusions. Most of these writers write some personal examples which (supposedly) motivate all to achieve success.
Going by the sheer volume of sales such books generated, we shouldn’t have any less than some tens of million (most of these are best-sellers) of people who should have been able to win friends & influence people. But I can see that in this generation this is hardly the case. Friendship these days has become a tool for enhancing personal ambitions. Most Corporates give training under the pretext of some high sounding principles but subtly all send in this message – People are morons. Just act nicely. They’ll be duped..
The problem is that however unintelligent one may be otherwise, nature endows him with enough instincts to realize that however nicely the other person behaves in your company, he is least bothered about you. It simply shows up. “Always smile” & “Be polite” and application of other similar clichés may give returns in the beginning. But when people realize that your words & external behaviour are not consistent with your actions they tend to hate you with more vigour. And still worse, they tend to get indifferent to you. I’m acquainted with many such people who believe that by acting nicely & politely they can get away with whatever they wish to do. And I’m simply amazed that they sincerely think their strategy works. Mere lip-service is not tantamount to action. Most end up doing the exact opposite : How to lose friends & Alienate people.
Another cliché “Attitude determines altitude”. In simpler words if you have the right attitude you can do anything. Sorry. This is sweeping over-generalization. Imagine you’re out to locate
in a map. You take regional map of Maharastra and start searching for it. You’ve the right attitude & you’re determined to find it out in that map; come what may. Will you ever succeed? Hyderabad
You need to open up your mind and be in the right foundation first. You need to know that you’ve opened up the right map: That of Andhra Pradesh. Then, right attitude works. First and foremost comes Character. Based on the right character you can build upon right attitude etc. First genuinely love others; then smiles & politeness can enhance the beauty. Otherwise they irritate.
People wrongly tend to believe that good intentions are sufficient. They grossly fail to understand that right amidst us we have many politicians also who have very good intentions but are unable to put them in practise. I honestly believe that every individual always starts out with good intentions. And goodness doesn’t mean obedience & meekness. Goodness without ability is lame. Good motives are blind without knowledge.
Ignorance of law is not excusable, be it of nations’ or nature’s. Many Germans in World War II had good intentions that participation of war would lead to advancement of
. But does the fact that they caused irreparable damage get absolved because of the fact that they had good intentions? Germany India had good intention of maintaining peace in 1962 war against ! But what was the result? Humiliation & punishing defeat! China
One must stop taking shelter under the pretext of good intentions. Because literally everyone in this planet have loads of it! And to practise them continuously one ought to have strong character built through years of rigourous experience & standing committed a philosophy. Not any quick-fix solutions like smile always!